i feel like this whole summer has thrown me for a loop, but not in a bad way… just more in a way that God continually reminds me that HE is in control, not I.
I’m really interested to see what happens in the next year and where God takes me.
this summer has not turned out to be at all like I had anticipated. I was thinking it’d be like last year, where I was trying to just “get through” and make it back to school. But I’ve had some pretty incredible things happen in my life within the past month and I couldn’t be more excited about how God is running the show. I’ve had to fully rely on him in my times of stress and uncertainty, and He’s constantly reminding me that I have to do this always, not just in the little scary moments.
In the past few days, my stress has hit an all time high. I seriously looked at my days ahead and didn’t know how I was going to get through it. I felt so much pressure from different aspects of my life, and I could see the negative affects it was having on myself and my relationships with others. One would think after going through this for four semesters now that it would somehow become easier, but it really only seems to be getting harder.
…Okay, enough of my complaining. Here’s where God comes in and takes over.
Basically, I have various projects, papers, finals, etc going on this week, as well as packing/cleaning/de-junking my dorm, and this is to all get done before Saturday morning. I’ve also started to notice that I have a really hard time relying on others to help with my group projects I’ve been doing. Most of the time, I like to be responsible for my own work… not necessarily because I’m a perfectionist, but more because I always expect people to let me down. This was really something I needed to give to the Lord. As soon as I did, my group seemed to come together and our project was finished quicker than I could have imagined. He is so good. He also gave me the ability to remember a lot of the content for my Theology final, which I took this afternoon after only studying the night before. I couldn’t even believe it. I don’t deserve that!
Another big stress that has been weighing on my heart has been trying to find a job for next year. It seems like I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs with no results, and I had become so discouraged about the whole thing. I was fortunate enough to have two interviews for an on campus job that I really wanted, but tried not to get my hopes up. But this afternoon, I received a call that they chose me, and I can stay working with them until I graduate. Again… I don’t deserve that!!!!
My roommate and I were actually driving down to our church in Costa Mesa today when I got the call about the job, which brings me to my NEXT undeserved blessing. Seriously, I don’t even know how all this is coming together in my last few days on campus. Anyways, my roommate and I are fortunate enough to be able to serve in our church’s coffee shop next year, which I’m really excited about. I really wanted a way to get more involved with our church, because I want to start being more connected there and branching out and meeting more people outside the “Biola Bubble”. I also happen to be obsessed with coffee, so it’s kind of a win-win. But more than that, I really feel that God has challenged me to serve others, and even if this is a miniscule way of giving back, I will jump at this chance.
Dang. I still can’t believe how my week has done a complete 180 in the matter of a day. It kind of feels like the end of the week, but I still have a few days to get through before I leave. I’m excited to see what God has in store for me. Thank you God. Thank you. THANK YOU. I can’t imagine a better end to my academic year. You are so good.